

Fans will be comforted by the familiarity of this return visit to Bodett country.
Those new to his work will discover one of the freshest, friendliest voices
among writers of humor today. Here is Bodett on his inability to dance, his
near inability to see and his disinclination to fix things. Here are treatises
on how to place your car in a ditch, how to create sculpture from dinner dishes,
and how to cash in on your countryman's bottomless need to be flattered. But
most of all, here are profound - and less than profound - meditations on the
everyday joys and embarrassments of being a husband, father and hard-working
member of the American family.

Wow (page 156)
Among the thousand and one truisms that were hurled at us as expectant
parents was one I especially wanted to believe: "You are going
to learn the most important things from your children." It sounded
so promising, and when accompanied by a smug veteran-parent grin, it
appeared to hold water.
I looked forward to learning about these "most important things," but
soon after our boy arrived I decided it was all a lot of tripe. If
the most important things are pricing Pampers, holding tempers, and
coming up with six hundred variations on the word "no", then
I figured people’s idea of "important" is purely subjective.
My partner in crime and I have spent the last twenty months with our
child teaching him everything from rolling over to the dynamics of
liquid in cups not carefully handled. All the while I held onto the
hope that one day the teaching would leave off and the learning begin.
Apparently it was just a matter of time, and the time, at last, has
arrived.
We recently had occasion, as a family, to spend the night at the house
of some friends in town. They have an extra room down in the basement,
and we were set up with the bed and crib in the same room. No big deal.
The kids went to sleep early, we had wonderful late-night conversation,
and retired to our accommodations. I slept well but woke up too early,
realized I was in a strange place, and couldn’t go back to sleep.
In our natural habitat my wife and I don’t share a room with
the baby. We normally first come to know he’s awake by a series
of screams from downstairs that would put any self-respecting banshee
to shame. But lying there wide awake in an unfamiliar house offered
me the opportunity to hear my child wake up for the first time. This
is where the learning came in.
Let me establish here that there are only a few words in our boy’s
vocabulary. "More" is the one we hear most often and can
refer to anything from fun to food. "No" comes in a close
second as he repeats it just about as often as he hears it. "Hello", "bye-bye", "Momma",
and "Daddy" make up the rest of his standard casual conversation,
and that’s all the words he’s got. All, that is, but one.
By far his most distinguished and seldom-used expression is the word "wow".
He only says "wow" when something really impresses him. If
Dad lets a frying pan catch on fire and juggles it out the front door
into the snow, it’s "wow". If we turn around backwards
on the way to town and hit the ditch at thirty, it’s "wow".
If the house were to burn down around him with the Messiah whispering
reassurances into his ear the whole time, I’m confident he would
sum it all up with "wow".
My reason for going into all this, like I said, is I had occasion
to hear him come to life one recent morning. I’d been awake for
over an hour, but nobody else was up. I lay there silently straining
to hear any encouraging sign that there might be people and coffee
about. I thought about my day, a Sunday, and took inventory of the
chores at hand. We would have to get organized and make the drive home.
Once there I’d have wood to put up, a door to fix, a few letters
to write, and some bills to pay. My wife would clean the house, as
she does every Sunday. The boy would refuse to take a nap, as he does
every Sunday. Luck willing, we would have a little time to spend together
before Monday once again descended on our lives. All this was less
than the stuff of dreams.
As I was lying there brooding, I heard my child stir. He rolled over – I
assumed he opened his eyes – and said "wow". Suddenly
I felt like a heel.
With all my training to "think good thoughts", "look
on the bright side", and "take it one day at a time",
I woke up to a near-miserable world. This little boy who knows nothing
of optimism, saw he had a new day, and gave it his grandest praise.
I learned something.
It dawned on me that this innocent little child was at the place I
wanted to be. To wake up in the morning, take a look at the world,
and say "wow" is probably about as close to contentment as
a person can ever hope to get.
Contentment is a rare commodity. The more we learn about this world,
the more anxious we get. There is trouble afoot. There are heartbreaks,
failures, tragedies, and an endless list of selfish desires that are
never realized. Sooner or later we come to resent our own existence.
I’m sure our innocent child will eventually eat this forbidden
apple, and wake up, as most of us do, to say only "ugh".
I wish I knew what I could do to never let this happen. I wish he
could teach me the way he sees things now so that I could help him
hold onto it – and so I could remember how it’s done. That
truly would be a "most important thing" – if this tiniest
of guides can show me from his crib how to open my eyes in the morning,
see that I am alive in Paradise, and say "wow."
:: Back to the top ::